You like mod? I have that.
This dress, although new, is a serious homage to everyone’s favorite ’60s trend. I figured since I just got all my hair chopped off (or as my grandfather exclaimed yesterday, I’d “been scalped!”) it would be a good time to share this one. Also, sorry for never posting anything.
Happy Independence Day, if you are American. Happy belated Independence Day if you are Canadian. Anyway here is a little patriotic ensemble for your fun fourth festivities. I’m not actually patriotic but I always need excuses to wear navy and red together. Although the dress is a bit vintage in appearance, I bought it a few days ago at T.J. Maxx. I don’t know if you’ve gotten this vibe yet but I basically don’t spend more than $20 on any article of clothing unless it’s some freakish situation. Anyway it’s lovely and comfortable and flouncy and makes me want a garter belt and stockings even more because gosh darn you can never look too much like a pin-up girl. Hope you stay cool and happy this fourth!
These coconut cookies with lime buttercream filling are a hedonistic summer treat that I have added to my baking repertoire. The cookies themselves are soft and just barely sweet. With tangy frosting added, they are to die for.
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COCONUT SANDWICH COOKIES with LIME BUTTERCREAM FROSTING
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WHAT YOU NEED for the cookies
2 cups FLOUR
1/2 tsp BAKING POWDER
1/2 tsp SALT
1 3/4 cup UNSWEETENED COCONUT
1 1/2 sticks BUTTER, softened
1/2 cup SUGAR
1/2 cup BROWN SUGAR
1 EGG
1 tsp VANILLA
WHAT YOU NEED for the frosting
1 stick BUTTER, softened
1 1/2 tsp LIME ZEST
1/8 tsp SALT
2 cups POWDERED SUGAR
3 tbsp LIME JUICE
WHAT TO DO for the cookies
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Cream butter and sugars, then add the egg and vanilla. Whisk together the remaining dry ingredients in a separate bowl and add them gradually to the butter mixture. The dough may seem fairly dry but you shouldn’t have any trouble forming it into whatever shape you’d like your cookies to be. They will not spread out noticeably, so if you want them to be more flat than round you’ll have to smash them a little. Bake your delicious cookies for 10-12 minutes. They should not be very brown, just a little around the edges. Let them cool completely before you attempt to frost them.
WHAT TO DO for the frosting
Combine butter, zest, and salt with an electric mixer. Add about a third of the sugar gradually and whip the mixture until it is quite fluffy, then, add a tablespoon of lime juice and continue mixing. Repeat until you have no extra ingredients and a little bowl of frosting!
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I’ve been saying I was going to do a major bathroom cleanup for probably two months, but now I finally did. It’s amazing what elbow grease and organization will do for you! Don’t ask why I had a hot glue gun on my bathroom counter. I don’t remember why.
Now everything extraneous has a special home UNDER the sink. I put everything in baggies or little baskets so I can actually find what I’m looking for!
What have you unfucked recently?
I don’t have beach plans yet, but I’m ready for them in spirit! I love nautical looks. My closet is full of navy and white stripes. This classic shirt dress came with a matching navy sash belt, but I like it much better with brown leather. I got these silly sunglasses for $5 at the best consignment store in Boone. I don’t know if they’re vintage, but they are at least vintage style. The ridiculous bow on my head is from H&M. It’s a lovely, flowing scarf, regularly, but today it has transformed. If I owned some, I might wear some sort of white fabric sandals, but when all else fails, obnoxiously hot pink patent shoes always do the trick. What sorts of outfits make you feel summery?
A night out. Black lace, patent shoes, little bows, gold chains, and all the makeup a person could want. Nights out aren’t really things that happen in my life, but it seems I have all the ingredients. I could get all dressed up for myself. That’s what this blog is for, I suppose. But sometimes I’d like the clothes and a place to go. If I had to pick one, though, I’d pick the first.
This was all inspired by my new undies. I never regret holding out on buying them until I find a great pair for less that $5. These, black lace boy shorts with pink floral waistband and hot pink bow, were $3 at Ross. Makes up for my frivolous bralette purchases of a few weeks ago, I say. I’ve been trying to beef up my stock of black undies. Until last week, I had none. It’s been ages since I’ve bought new things to put on my butt and I really need to go through my drawers with a trash bag in hand. It feels good to see something new in there for a change.
The necklace and black patent purse are both my grandmothers. Well, they were hers until she gave them to me, I suppose. I’ve had those popping pink shoes for ages it seems, though I took a long hiatus from wearing them. They are the most obnoxious shade of pink, but for whatever reason, I bought them. They were cheap, if I remember correctly. Though you can’t really make it out in the photo, there is a black lace bra in the foreground. It’s the same as the light pink except for the color.
The only mascara I own is that tiny little tube with a tiny little brush. I don’t understand why big mascara brushes are popular. It’s like trying to apply makeup with a toilet bowl scrubber. Why sacrifice precision for speed? The lovely shadow and blush brushes and compact were a gift. I have one of those big Ulta every-color-in-the-world gift boxes that I still have barely used since I got it years ago. Each little thing of shadow, blush and lipstick is in a little metal dish that sticks onto the compact with a magnet. It’s really quite ingenious and someone who wears makeup as infrequently as I do does not deserve to possess such a thing.
Maybe in the near future, I’ll get a chance to don all these sexy little things. Maybe I’ll just prance around the house in them. Either way, I’m sure I’ll be quite pleased.
So I don’t have stockings and they’d look silly with hairy legs anyway but if I had a garter belt like this you better believe I’d own every pair of stockings under the sun and I’d renounce my hairy legs forever.
Tonight I made lasagna for the first time and it turned out wonderfully! I made one large pan and two of these little, single-sized dishes, using up the one jar of sauce I had to work with. I didn’t really use a recipe but I can certainly give you a framework for your lasagna adventures. It is super easy, just takes a long time to cook if you don’t pre-cook the noodles. It is one of the most forgiving and delicious dishes you can make and it has endless variations!
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LASAGNA
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WHAT YOU NEED
LASAGNA NOODLES
TOMATO SAUCE
RICOTTA CHEESE
MOZZARELLA CHEESE, sliced thin
ITALIAN SAUSAGE or GROUND BEEF, cooked*
OLIVE OIL
FRESH BASIL*
PARMESAN or PARRANO CHEESE, grated*
*Optional
WHAT TO DO
Preheat the oven to 325°F. Coat the bottom of a deep (the deeper the dish, the more delicious layers of sauce, cheese, and noodles!), oven-safe dish in olive oil and a little sauce. This will prevent the bottom layer of noodles from sticking. Then, add a layer of uncooked lasagna noodles. You may have to break off bits of the noodles or overlap them to make them fit. Once the first layer is complete, add a liberal amount of tomato sauce. The noodles will absorbe a lot of liquid, so don’t be shy, especially if you are using fresh pasta. Give the dish a little shake to even out the sauce. Now, it is up to you where to go next. I like a reasonable amount of ricotta cheese and a little basil and meat on each layer. Most lasagnas I’ve eaten only have mozzarella on top, but that is just not enough, in my opinion. As much as I love cheese, I usually only put mozzarella every other layer.
Once you are getting close to filling the dish, top off your lasagna with a thick layer of mozzarella cheese. If you find that the top of your lasagna is very close to the lip of the dish, you may want to place a cookie sheet underneath to catch any sauce or cheese that bubbles over in order to avoid a smoking oven and possible visit by the fire department. Cover the lasagna with tin foil and bake for 40-50 minutes. If you feel a lot of resistance in the noodles when you stab your lasagna with a knife, it needs more time in the oven.
When you are quite sure that the noodles are cooked, uncover the dish and turn on the broiler. Keep a close eye on the delicious cheese on top of your lasagna because it can go from perfectly golden brown to black in a matter of seconds. Remove the dish from the oven and enjoy your piping hot, one-pan-meal!
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They really don’t make ads like they used to, do they?
It’s more lesbian erotica than lipstick, according to this advertisement.
And this is of course the shade that runningwithboltcutters wears.
Hello again! Here is another dress. This one is from a super cool vintage store in Greenville, SC. Yes, I just said there was something cool in SC. Anyway, it is polyester so it is probably from the ’70s, but regardless of the unnatural fabric, the dress is just plain lovely. The floral pattern around the collar and the hemline is absolutely perfect. I love the peachy pinks and the sort of tropical feel of it all. The shape of the dress just SCREAMS housewife, which I love, of course. I Paired it with a woven leather belt, but does have its own little elastic waistband. Not as special as mom’s dresses (since I had to buy it… poop) but still a favorite of mine.
These are a few of my favorite things… Ok sorry I couldn’t resist.
I bought this bralette (in this color and black) the other day, with the rest of my christmas Belk giftcard because I was depressed that I didn’t have a job and I like lace so you can go fuck yourselves if you think I was being frivolous. Sorry, that was unbecoming of me. Anyway. I like bras that don’t have padding because I like not having much in the chest area but sometimes it’s hard to find obscenely girly things that don’t make me look like I have pillows strapped to my torso. That’s why I usually buy all of the unpadded lace bras I find. I have five. It’s becoming a problem,
So let’s talk about these shoes. Who doesn’t want huge bows on their toes? Really, who? I got these last year to wear to graduation because um DUH they were $12 at Ross. The necklace is a tiny, tiny locket that I want to put something in, but it’s just so small I could never fit anything in it! It makes a satisfying click when it opens and closes so usually when I’m wearing it, I fidget with it a lot. Anyway, also in the picture is my big blush brush (by EcoTools) and e.l.f. bronzer. It was $1 and it’s not sparkly so I use it a lot.
Light Blue is my favorite girl perfume. It smells like lemons and the ocean. It is the only fancy perfume I have (I have a couple perfumes, just not big expensive name-brand ones) and before I got it as a gift, I’d wanted it for years. I think that’s the best way to deal with fragrances that cost more than $10 a bottle. I mean, you want something that you’re going to wear for years and years because that’s how long the bottle will last and it’s sort of a large financial commitment for something so unnecessary. I just remember I was at the beach with my dad and stepmom and there were some slightly old InStyle magazines that I read, and there was a little ad and sample of Light Blue in one of them. After smelling it, I realized that it was the smell on other people that I kept noticing and loving. That was probably like four years ago, and I never stopped liking the salty-sweet citrus smell.
My next fragrance purchase will probably be The One, also by D & G, if I keep liking it for a while. The problem is that one of my friends wears it and I associate the smell too much with him to feel ok with also wearing it. But seriously that cologne… God. I have to retain balance between my frilly side and my dapper side, so I will eventually own a cologne.
If anything ever made me feel demure, it’s this dress. Another example of mom’s handiwork, this peachy-nude floral dress is delicate and airy, just like the print. The drop waist with a sash is its focal point, with a full, gathered skirt hanging below and a simple bodice resting above. The skirt is pretty long, reaching around mid-calf, which is a kind of awkward length. I like wearing my brown leather ankle boots and pink pearls with this dress. Those boots are absolutely the best - they were cheap (Kohl’s, baby), they are my go-to dress-up-but-can’t-wear-brogues shoes, and they’re pretty darn comfy for a 2 1/2” heel. The pearls, my only remaining piece of jewelry with value, were a gift from my mom for my 16th birthday. They are probably my favorite color ever and I wish I could wear them with everything.
I realize this shape isn’t particularly flattering, but it’s a great homage to ’20s fashion. The loose fit and scandalous ankle hearken back to a time where women were just starting to break out of their corsets and embrace a more androgynous aesthetic. Who needs to accentuate their natural waist when they can have history?
PS: I am aware that the picture of me is terrible quality. That’s why I made it look all old and stuff. I promise it won’t happen again. I don’t like over-editing things.
Here is another fabulous frock I stole from mama. She made this for herself when she was around my age, which is shocking because it fits me like a glove. I was fairly certain that she was as skinny as a rail in college but such is the glory of wrap dresses! They really can flatter almost any shape, even rectangular!
The fabric is light-weight white sear sucker with tiny red flowers, making it a wonderful summer sundress. It wraps in the back and ties in the front, just above two patch pockets. The bodice is lined - this helps with the sheerness of the fabric but also lends a little structure. The skirt flares out from the waist to a pleasing A-line and hits just below the knee. I like that it is modest but still playful and feminine, and I absolutely adore the back.
Have you raided your parents’ closet recently? I highly recommend it.
Welcome to the new photo representation of my blog.
Bask in the glory of my red satin heels and hairy, hairy legs.
This is Ironing Bored.
I have a secret to tell you. I love bacon. It’s the only reason I’d ever believe in a God because surely man alone could not create such a fantastic culinary wonder. So, naturally, I try to put bacon in everything I do. Here is a recipe for my Bacon Sandies, a little variation on their pecan brethren. I didn’t have pecans, but I’m sure they’d be awesome paired with bacon in the same cookie. This recipe yields a pretty small batch of cookies, but would double well. I promise you’ll want more when you taste them.
If you’re at all worried about wasting your precious bacon, have no fear. You won’t regret it.
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BACON SANDIES
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WHAT YOU NEED
1/2 cup BUTTER, softened
1/2 cup BROWN SUGAR, lightly packed
1/4 teaspoon SALT
1 cup FLOUR
3-4 pieces BACON, cooked until crisp and crumbled*
WHAT TO DO
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Cream the butter, brown sugar and salt until they are well combined. Add the flour and mix until the dough looks like wet sand, then add the bacon crumbles. The dough will not appear to stick together at all if you are using a fork to mix, but do not worry! It is easy to form balls of dough with your hands. These cookies won’t really spread much, so you can fit a good number of them on one pan. Bake them for 15-17 minutes. They will be ready when they are just turning golden brown. Let them cool a little before enjoying or else they won’t have the delightful sandy texture the name implies!
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These cookies are absolutely the easiest to make, except for all the times you’ll have to re-make your bacon because *someone* keeps eating it. The saltiness of the bacon with the crunchy, sweet cookie is one of the best flavor and texture combinations ever. Really, you have to make these. They are awesome.
